Will somebody read my poem (pastiche) and tell me what you think and how to do a commentary on it?

It's for AS eng lit and lang, and basically i don't have any sheets on how to write a commentery so does anyone have any straight to the point tips? Thank you



Some people have a childhood garden

Filled with green and growing things

Some people have a childhood garden

Filled with purple peonies

Mine is sere

Throughout the year

Nothing grows here



Some people have a childhood rainbow

A sea of colors all aglow

Some people have a childhood rainbow

Red to violet in a row

Mine is gray

Bow of clay

Without a ray



Some people have a childhood temple

Covered with a million treasured dreams

Some people have a childhood temple

A sunny Wat of Gods and kings

Mine is plain

Squats in the rain

Functional 'n sane



Where childhood memories abound

Life flows vividly around

Where childhood memories have fled

Hearts lie dead



Tim Bovee -

one at bottom is mine



Some people have a childhood home

Warm, soft and yielding

Some people have a childhood home

Peaceful, joyful and healing

Mines at war

Forever more

Behind a closed door



Some people have a childhood spirit

Boundlessly open and carefree

Some people have a childhood spirit

Everything that child wants to be

Mine is undone

The haunted one

Crazy as the sun



Some people have childhood memories

That they lovingly hold dear

Some people have childhood memories

Filled with tenderness and freedom from fear

Mine break my heart

Rip my sanity apart

Artists sick art



One plays games, one plays tricks

One pushes, one picks

So wrapped up they forget

The childs heavy heart in a cold sweat

Will somebody read my poem (pastiche) and tell me what you think and how to do a commentary on it?
that is real good u should tell some people about it so they can put dat in a book

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